I had to treat my soul like a child. I had to pin it down and demand that it stay put until the Holy Spirit told it to move. I had no idea how stubborn and independent I could be. I was raised with a common belief: God loves me. God has a plan for my life. God is sovereign. He chose me. He saved me. Someday I will live with him in heaven. This perspective was very comforting, but it was also crippling. Imagine if I raised my son to think that, because I gave birth to him and love him and have the power to help him, he could do anything he wants for the rest of his life and it won't change anything. In fact, I'll forgive everything he does, fix it, and make sure he gets a beautiful wife and well-paying job even if he never so much as lifts his butt from the couch cushions. How good of a parent would I be? How good of a person would he be? To say that God is in control and everything happens for a reason, is to close your eyes to the events of the world and even to scripture. But to say that God is not in control questions his sovereignty and power. And especially his love. There seems to be an unavoidable problem there. Since this question is such a big one for Christians and skeptics alike, we should take some time on it. This post will focus simply on the change of my perspective before I pinned my soul to the ground, and after. When God spoke to me, and confirmed his word, it showed me that I had been making "faith" choices without him for most of my life. I just prayed, then acted without hearing back from him. I guess I was like someone leaving a message on a cell phone, assuming that the other person would agree and support whatever decision I made just because I cared enough to call. I also realized that I had been living by a sliding scale. I believe in God's sovereign will, but when I sinned, it was clearly not His will. I felt bad. I apologized. I felt that I had offended God. But how could God be offended or even bothered if he knew what I would do before I did it, and it was all a part of his grand scheme? In fact, I should be thanking him for my sin because, in the end, "all things work together for good." Right? Also, my perspective would change based on the severity of an event. If I tripped on a curb, I was clumsy. But if I tripped on a curb and cracked a tooth, costing me $500 at the dentist, God was testing me financially. If I tripped on a curb and incurred brain damage, God obviously had a mysterious and wonderful plan and I would have to wait and pray, pretending not to be afraid, wondering what it was. Based on the severity of my fall, the event would shift from an accident to a plan. There is one story in the Bible that helped shed some light on this issue for me. In Numbers 22, Israel is approaching Moab on their way to Canaan. Balak, the king, is terrified of Israel, having heard of what happened in Egypt and the destruction of other nations. He calls on Balaam, a man known for his divination powers, to curse Israel. Balaam accepts the offer, but God is angry and sends an angel to block his way. Balaam has an interesting conversation with his donkey, after which the angel is revealed to him. Balaam agrees not to go. However, God allows him to continue, but does not allow him to curse Israel. Only to bless them. For the next couple of chapters, we can read the blessings of Balaam and the angry rants of Balak. However, the blessings don't seem to matter because in the chapter that immediately follows, Israel is sleeping around with the people of Moab and worshipping their gods. Nice. Josephus, when writing the Jewish history for his Greek captors, expands this account, making the transition a little more natural. In his version, Balaam tells Balak that God will not abandon his people, but they could abandon their God. He advises the king to send in their most beautiful women and seduce the Israelites. God doesn't send an angel to block the women. Israel is seduced. Ultimately, it is these same people that were so unfaithful that they never would enter the Promise Land, even though God brought them out of Egypt to do so. This sounds like what the devil is trying to do. Seduction and lies. Apparently we are free to act on temptation, and in doing so, we just might end up like Israel, dead in a desert on the wrong side of the Jordan. Consider some of your own views of sovereignty and freedom. Do you vote? If so, do you think it changes the outcome? Do you feel free? Do you feel guilty when you sin? Are those sinful moments free from God's sovereignty? If so, can other moments also be free? How do you feel about this issue?
About Me
- John Barnts
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5 comments:
Why don't we challenge our children to question things?
Why do we raise them up to believe everything they are told, wherever they go, and then, all of a sudden, when they are out of the house, tell them they need to make decisions for themselves and "leave and cleave?". As a parent, I now see so much importance in how I am raising my kids to think. Of course I tell them that they need to listen to me, to obey me and to trust me, as I am (and their dad) ultimately responsible for their lives at this point. They are little and I am responsible to guide them to the point where they can make independent thoughts and decisions.
But why would I ever tell my children to believe EVERYTHING every adult tells them? Why would I just sit back and relax when I send them off to school, even more dangerous, a CHRISTIAN school, thinking that everything they are learning is truth? Or church even. Or when they go to their grandparents' house. Do we really trust that much in every human that is over our children, that they are teaching them truth? When does it change? Do we trust that much in the doctrine, or, mission statement of that organization?Then, they get to high school youth group and their brains are developing to the point where they start to question things, and we start saying, "Don't question authority."
I think we should learn how to guide our children to question without disrespecting authority. Maybe we wouldn't be so messed up or confused, or, bitter, even, at the church, or society, or our parents, if we are taught from the beginning to seek what is reality, to not be afraid of asking questions. Maybe we would be able to discern truth more freely and easily when it comes to spiritual things, if we are allowed to question, to not be afraid to read or study things that might not necessarily be correct, but could aid our thinking in our search for truth and reality.
Reality of God only happens when we have personal experience with Him. If we are told to "just believe" and are scolded for our lack of faith when we whisper, "But, what if...?", a poor view of Him is unavoidable. Who says God doesn't speak? Those that don't have personal experience. Sure, there are MANY "voices" that try to impersonate Him, but, isn't that part of the journey? Learning to discern Him among the rest? There is no need to be afraid of influences or bad teaching when we know that He is ultimately responsible for us, like a parent is to a child. He loves us and won't let us end up in hell when we are seeking Him. We may get close, but maybe we need to, in order to come to the full experience of His Kingdom, His reality.
Did I get off subject?
Mrs. Frank,
I love your take on this subject. You bring up some incredible points that make me think about the way we are raising our children. Our oldest is 11 and I still say (unfortunately) "because I said so". Especially at her age, maybe I should say, "Look up why I say ..." At her age, I still have time to still redirect her path when she gets off of it, but can still let her research why I say "no, you can't watch Harry Potter".
We have had a lot of experience inside the church and christian school in disagreeing with a doctrine (i.e. the King James version of the bible being the ONLY bible you can read). And we have always shown her and her little brother why...maybe it's time to start letting her find out why instead of "because I say so" or "because God says so".
Thanks for commenting!
Oops. I was just trying to edit my words...
Here it is-
Oh yeah. That whole last paragraph you wrote was my whole childhood. But I wasn't the curious type so I believed everything I was told.
Frank on the other hand, was quite the opposite. He questioned everything since birth, and when he came up against the "because I said so" adults, got into trouble for asking, at times. Thankfully, though,because now that I have been around him for awhile, I DO question things without just packing my head full of everything I hear!
It sure puts more burden on us as parents...to know what is TRUE and be guiding/parenting accordingly. My kids are really young still--my oldest doesn't even talk yet--but they KNOW somehow when I am acting in real love toward them, when my heart and motives are pure. I can tell you, my toddler is SO naughty when I am not walking with the Lord, and then he is so pleasant and easy going--and mor obedient!--when I myself am being obedient to the Lord and seeking Him. It's really driven me to the Lord for everything, because I see that me knowing the truth and having a heart that is pure before the Lord doesn't just affect me, but also is so important for my kids' well-being. And I suspect even now that what I model in my daily doings will be have much more bearing on my kids than what I tell them. When my son can tell that I am sincerely thinking about him and caring for him, my commands are more readily obeyed, and he reflects the same peace I have. Thank God for His life in us!
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